=(

Yesterday was my last proper day looking after Ashley. Kristian, Lachlan and Reece.
I managed (just) to hold back all the tears.
Lachlan told me he has to live with me next year because my new house is number 5 and that will be his number next year. He kept asking why i wanted to swap houses and is he allowed to swap too.
I asked him what about his mum, and he simply replied, "you can be my mum" and when asked what about his dad, he asked "Who are your friends?" I listed a few names and he innocently asked "Can Terry be my dad?"
(if only it were that easy) this conversation made me tear up  I truly wish i could pack him up and take him with me, temper tantrums, bossiness and all.

I took lots and lots of photos, at which Lachie said "Don't you have enough yet Emma?" I could never have enough of you baby ever. =D
t will be hard not seeing the boys weekly. I'm going to miss them terribly.

Ava

This should have been posted weeks ago, but i haven't blogged for ages.
August the 22nd should have been Ava Rosemeyer's 6th birthday, but she is forever frozen in time and memory as a 3 year old.
This year is different however, Sheye Ava's mum decided to start a perfect tradition that being a tea party being held in Ava's memory each and every year starting now on this day.
She posted her idea on her blog, and people from all over the world took part in celebrating Ava.
The pictures were perfect.
Lachie and I held a tea Party for Ava, with Boots being our guest of honour. We ate chocolate cupcakes, since Lachie insisted they were Ava's favourite, chocolate dipped strawberries and strawberry milkshakes.
Lachie told me he wishes Ava could have shared the cupcakes and strawberries, and wanted to save one for when he sees her.

Ava and Isabelle

These two Beautiful girls...... They havce changed the way I view things.
Their Mummies, Daddies, Sisters and Brothers, they are so Brave... I admire them so much.
Lately I have found myself thinking of these little angels alot more lately, mabye its the lead up to Christmas.....
I have started to put together a collection on little Ava decorations, suitable for the Super Princess... to send up to her family, Im looking for something for each of Sheye's Gorgeous children to hang on the tree, for Ava, so far I have found a few small things... but none that fully define and portray Ava.

Thinking of you both always

Keep watching over everyone


(L)

This month

This month is a month of so much heart ache.
First there was Isabelle's birthday, which just recently passed

But later this month there is also Andrew's birthday, it will be the first of many his family has to get through without him.

I am still and always will be so amazed as to how these families get through these hard times.
I cannot imagine how much it would hurt them and how much heart ache they are feeling.
It breaks my heart just to think about it.

Today was a good day.
I met Kayla, even briefly it was still worth it. =]

Im halfway through a new video
will post it on here when its perfected

<3

Tomorrow

Is Isabelle's Birthday
So I made her a video.
It's not as good as I would have liked it to be.
But its okay.



Danielle, My thoughts are with you all tomorrow.

(L)

So yesterday

Was pretty much the best day I've had in a long long long time.
First off it was Kristian's 5th Birthday party.
And my gosh I cant remember the last time I laughed as much as I did there.
I had a 7year old ask me if i need to be medicated.
A 10 year old approached me and the conversation was as follows
Her: "do you know what a "bush" is?"
Me: "yes"
Her: "do you know what a snake is?"
Me: "yes"
Her: "Have you ever seen a snake"
Me: "Yes remember the snake man showed us snakes just before"
Her: "Nooooo, not that kind of snake the boys kind of snake"
Her: " I learnt allll about them at school"

There were more laughable moments.
Those two girls made my day.


Then later that night Courtney and I went to Helensburgh Workmen's club..
To see a band... now usually Helensburgh has shit bands or impersonators.
But one of my favourtie bands "Acid Eyeliner" were playing and it was a great way to spend my night despite feeling violently sick

today

So today...
Is Isabelle's brothers 2nd birthday
I dont know how Danielle and her family can keep so strong
when grief is following them everywhere
Loosing one child is hard... but loosing 2 in a matter of months
I dont know how she copes.



I am planning to make a new video for Belle.
And post it on her birthday..
Just a little something special

My heart is feeling heavy today for some reason

Maybe Isabelle is around making sure everyone stays strong....


x