This month

This month is a month of so much heart ache.
First there was Isabelle's birthday, which just recently passed

But later this month there is also Andrew's birthday, it will be the first of many his family has to get through without him.

I am still and always will be so amazed as to how these families get through these hard times.
I cannot imagine how much it would hurt them and how much heart ache they are feeling.
It breaks my heart just to think about it.

Today was a good day.
I met Kayla, even briefly it was still worth it. =]

Im halfway through a new video
will post it on here when its perfected

<3

Tomorrow

Is Isabelle's Birthday
So I made her a video.
It's not as good as I would have liked it to be.
But its okay.



Danielle, My thoughts are with you all tomorrow.

(L)

So yesterday

Was pretty much the best day I've had in a long long long time.
First off it was Kristian's 5th Birthday party.
And my gosh I cant remember the last time I laughed as much as I did there.
I had a 7year old ask me if i need to be medicated.
A 10 year old approached me and the conversation was as follows
Her: "do you know what a "bush" is?"
Me: "yes"
Her: "do you know what a snake is?"
Me: "yes"
Her: "Have you ever seen a snake"
Me: "Yes remember the snake man showed us snakes just before"
Her: "Nooooo, not that kind of snake the boys kind of snake"
Her: " I learnt allll about them at school"

There were more laughable moments.
Those two girls made my day.


Then later that night Courtney and I went to Helensburgh Workmen's club..
To see a band... now usually Helensburgh has shit bands or impersonators.
But one of my favourtie bands "Acid Eyeliner" were playing and it was a great way to spend my night despite feeling violently sick

today

So today...
Is Isabelle's brothers 2nd birthday
I dont know how Danielle and her family can keep so strong
when grief is following them everywhere
Loosing one child is hard... but loosing 2 in a matter of months
I dont know how she copes.



I am planning to make a new video for Belle.
And post it on her birthday..
Just a little something special

My heart is feeling heavy today for some reason

Maybe Isabelle is around making sure everyone stays strong....


x

City Trips

I have been looking over all my photos from various city trips with Courtney Some of my favourites are from our trip to the Chinese Gardens. And the photos from ANZAC day, there aren't many from ANZAC day as we were marching with the WRANS. So we just got a few from the beginning and the end. These are just a few of my favourites. Actually alot of my favourites :D

I forgot to rotate this one... oops ^^

thoughts for today

How can I be hurting so much
Grieving so much
For people I hardly know

Why is the pain so unbearable
That sometimes I feel like there is no point in going on

My heart is so heavy
So filled with pain
Aching so much

Sometimes all I want to do is sit and cry
I want to swap places with the ones that were taken away too soon

Why them?
Why not me?
It just doesn't seem fair

Andrew

I hope you caught alllll the balloons as they were sent up to you
I hope you liked your memorial today
Its really not fair that you were taken away
You should have been there today
There shouldn't have needed to be a memorial.
You should be still going really well in year 11
You should have succeeded.
You had it in you to go so far.
Make sure you watch over your brothers extra carefully.
Love to you always