Ava and Isabelle

These two Beautiful girls...... They havce changed the way I view things.
Their Mummies, Daddies, Sisters and Brothers, they are so Brave... I admire them so much.
Lately I have found myself thinking of these little angels alot more lately, mabye its the lead up to Christmas.....
I have started to put together a collection on little Ava decorations, suitable for the Super Princess... to send up to her family, Im looking for something for each of Sheye's Gorgeous children to hang on the tree, for Ava, so far I have found a few small things... but none that fully define and portray Ava.

Thinking of you both always

Keep watching over everyone


(L)

This month

This month is a month of so much heart ache.
First there was Isabelle's birthday, which just recently passed

But later this month there is also Andrew's birthday, it will be the first of many his family has to get through without him.

I am still and always will be so amazed as to how these families get through these hard times.
I cannot imagine how much it would hurt them and how much heart ache they are feeling.
It breaks my heart just to think about it.

Today was a good day.
I met Kayla, even briefly it was still worth it. =]

Im halfway through a new video
will post it on here when its perfected

<3

Tomorrow

Is Isabelle's Birthday
So I made her a video.
It's not as good as I would have liked it to be.
But its okay.



Danielle, My thoughts are with you all tomorrow.

(L)

So yesterday

Was pretty much the best day I've had in a long long long time.
First off it was Kristian's 5th Birthday party.
And my gosh I cant remember the last time I laughed as much as I did there.
I had a 7year old ask me if i need to be medicated.
A 10 year old approached me and the conversation was as follows
Her: "do you know what a "bush" is?"
Me: "yes"
Her: "do you know what a snake is?"
Me: "yes"
Her: "Have you ever seen a snake"
Me: "Yes remember the snake man showed us snakes just before"
Her: "Nooooo, not that kind of snake the boys kind of snake"
Her: " I learnt allll about them at school"

There were more laughable moments.
Those two girls made my day.


Then later that night Courtney and I went to Helensburgh Workmen's club..
To see a band... now usually Helensburgh has shit bands or impersonators.
But one of my favourtie bands "Acid Eyeliner" were playing and it was a great way to spend my night despite feeling violently sick

today

So today...
Is Isabelle's brothers 2nd birthday
I dont know how Danielle and her family can keep so strong
when grief is following them everywhere
Loosing one child is hard... but loosing 2 in a matter of months
I dont know how she copes.



I am planning to make a new video for Belle.
And post it on her birthday..
Just a little something special

My heart is feeling heavy today for some reason

Maybe Isabelle is around making sure everyone stays strong....


x

City Trips

I have been looking over all my photos from various city trips with Courtney Some of my favourites are from our trip to the Chinese Gardens. And the photos from ANZAC day, there aren't many from ANZAC day as we were marching with the WRANS. So we just got a few from the beginning and the end. These are just a few of my favourites. Actually alot of my favourites :D

I forgot to rotate this one... oops ^^

thoughts for today

How can I be hurting so much
Grieving so much
For people I hardly know

Why is the pain so unbearable
That sometimes I feel like there is no point in going on

My heart is so heavy
So filled with pain
Aching so much

Sometimes all I want to do is sit and cry
I want to swap places with the ones that were taken away too soon

Why them?
Why not me?
It just doesn't seem fair

Andrew

I hope you caught alllll the balloons as they were sent up to you
I hope you liked your memorial today
Its really not fair that you were taken away
You should have been there today
There shouldn't have needed to be a memorial.
You should be still going really well in year 11
You should have succeeded.
You had it in you to go so far.
Make sure you watch over your brothers extra carefully.
Love to you always

Deep thinking

I have found myself lately thinking alot about death.
Not just death itself but the effect it has on those left behind
Especially when someone so young is taken away from their families
How do these families ever get through the day?
How do the parents of these children keep going.
How do they go on so normally, well appearing to be normal.
How do they keep a strong face infront of everone
even though inside they are being tortured, and the pain they feel inside is utterly unbearable

I personally think the grief we feel when someone elderly dies differs to that of when someone so young, someone with so much still ahead of them leaves us

I think we all take so much of life for granted.

Imagaine loosing your child.......

When you bury them you arent just putting them into their tiny coffins.
But you are placing their entire life inside, you are burying
- their school uniform
- their high school uniform
- their graduation outfit
- their end of school results
- all the awards they would have won
- all their partners
- their wedding dress/suit
- their family
- their new house
Basically everything that was meant to be.
Everything you wished you could have seen but didnt get to.

Why are our children taken from us so young?
Is their some hidden reason.
Will their death change the way people view certain aspects of life

While writing this a few people have been on my mind.
I admire their families so much.

♥ Bridget (1996) I wish I got to spend more time getting to know you, you were taken away too soon. It still hasnt gotten any easier
♥ Rhiana (2002/3) I am so glad I got to know you. I will never forget those few years we got to spend getting to know each other
♥ Fiona (2004) Even though I never spoke to you. You have touched my life.
♥ Isabelle (2006) Bellie. I wish I got to know you. You have done so much. You have changed so many lives.
♥ Issiah (2006) You definately were taken too soon.
♥ Ava (2007) I wish I met you Super Princess. But even though I didnt I was so touched by your story
&hearts Rhys (2007)
♥ Seb (2007)
♥ Andrew (2008) Andrew. You had so much left to live for. You are amazing. You were so smart and you never let your disablility get the best of you. Keep them all strong. I think for along time you will continue to be an inspiration to everyone. You definately will never be forgotten. <3>
♥ Annabelle (????)

This grief process is like learning to swim whilst drowning

"When I die, she said, I'm coming back as a tree with deep roots & I'll wave my leaves at the children every morning on their way to school & whisper tree songs at night in their dreams.
Trees with deep roots know about the things children need."

You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and relive yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish the memory and let it live on.
You can close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want,
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
-David Harkins-

Wednesday May 7, 2008, The Sydney Morning Herald

CHRISTISON, Andrew Robert.
21.7.1991 - 2.5.2008

Peacefully at home. Greatly cherished and incredibly loved
son of Andrea and Mark and brother of Joshua and Matthew.
Loved mate of Glenn. Adored grandson of Norma and Bill,
Margaret, and John. Great nephew of Suey and Faith.
Cherished nephew of Vicki and Brett, Annette and Adrian,
Michelle and Paul. Cousin of Jesse, Jake, Luke and Sarah. Will
be sadly missed by the staff and students at Lucas Heights
Community School and by all who knew him.

Aged 16 years
Inspiration to all

SIMPLY THE BEST